Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
1) "How long is Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail?"
We're not sure because we don't really care. We will certainly let you know when more info is available. Best guess: it's closely equivalent to waking from your front door to your neighbor's mailbox.
2) "No, I meant how long does it take to walk through Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail?"
You're clearly not listening, and what difference does it make? You don't have anything else going on this time of the year.
3) "Can you please just tell me how long it will take to get through Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail?"
Yes, I can tell you, but I don't feel like telling you right now. I just don't like your tone.
4) "This is ridiculous. Are all the characters in Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail this way?" (said with an annoyed tone and heavy sigh)
No. Most are worse. If you'd like to file a complaint, please EMAIL the owner.
5) "Is Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail scary?"
No, it's fun, funny, and at times, ridiculous. There are no scary or traumatizing sets, scenes, or characters unless you find a reenactment of your in-laws sitting in a makeshift living room disturbing.
6) "What is an appropriate age to attend Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail?"
We've hosted guests as young as three months and as old as "just about dead". Everyone mostly has fun (although people who look generally unhappy are people we tend to avoid).
7) "Can I bring my dog to Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail?"
No. Leave the dog at home with a flip chip and some Kenny G music. He'll be fine.
8) "Do you believe in dumb questions?"
Yes. Refer to question #7. We also believe there are dumb people out there, who by default, will ask dumb questions. It's their nature.
9) "What's your favorite color?"
Flash flood brown.
10) "What is Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail?"
Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail is a holiday event located at Trombly Gardens in Milford, NH. Guests take a self-guided (walking) tour through lit-up and decorated woodlands while being met by an unusual cast of characters. The event celebrates the spirit of the holidays and is perfect for families, couples, and people of all ages. Not recommended for tightwads or nincompoops. Click HERE to take the test to see if you should visit Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail.
11) "Is Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail a hayride or sleigh ride?
It's a trail that is toured by humanoids who utilize gravity and their legs to stroll about the Earth's surface at one particular location.
12) "Should I drink alcohol before or while I'm at Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail?"
Absolutely not. In fact, any guest who is visibly intoxicated will be asked to leave, NO EXCEPTIONS/NO REFUNDS. If not asked to leave, at a minimum, you will be asked to share.
13) "Will the characters touch me?"
Our actors are trained to not touch anyone, and we request the same of our guests. Incidental touching could occur. Trust me, none of us are interested in being touched.
14) "How many people are in a group?"
Our group sizes are no larger than 8 guests. There is always the possibility smaller groups will be paired up, especially during busier times. Please be advised. if you arrive with a group larger than 8 people, we kindly request YOU decide how to split yourselves up. Otherwise, we will do the math, and that's gonna suck.
15) "Is Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail fun?"
It freakin' better be because hanging all the damn lights was an absolute nightmare.
16) "What if it rains?"
Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail may be forced to close if the weather does not cooperate, HOWEVER, unless conditions are unworkable, Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail will remain in operation, and timed tickets for the time frames we are open will be valid, NO REFUNDS. In the event Mr. Dingles' Holiday Trail is forced to close, ticket holders will be allowed to choose another date to visit within the same season and 72 hours of the canceled date. Notification of cancellation will occur via email and Facebook.
17) "What time will the event be canceled?"
We do our best to cancel when our Lucky 8 Ball has provided all the answers to our weather woes, but there are many occasions when, as much as we try, we cannot control what time it will start to rain/snow. For that reason, we do our best to notify customers via email as soon as the event has been officially canceled. There may be times when the event opens but cannot operate for the entire duration due to poor conditions. Tickets purchased for specific time frames remain valid if we are open during those time frames.
18) "My ticket is for 5:00-6:00 p.m., and it's now 6:05 p.m.. How come I'm not inside the event already?!!"
We offer timed ticketing admission and limited quantities of general admission. Timed Ticketing specifies the time guests are allowed entry onto the entire property. Please be aware that wait times could still exist as we strive to provide unique experiences to EVERYONE. Patrons interested in an event with NO LINES should look for Holiday entertainment elsewhere. This is an "ENTER AT OWN RISK" event.
19) "Fear it was not
lights it also was not
We wanted to stay close to home but it did not
Work if anything, you probably should’ve only charged five dollars because for 15 it just not worth it. I could’ve spent another $10 and going through a professional one not a half ass winky dink one make it more wirth make it more about the lights make it more about fear which it was supposed to be Would like to ask for my money back, but I guess that’s not gonna be possible" - email written by someone named Kevin Cassey.
Dear Kevin,
Huh?
Mr. Dingles
20) "I know I'm not supposed to complain about anything, but IF I feel the urge to complain, what are a few acceptable things I can complain about?"
The economy, eating healthy, taxes, exercise, Richard Marx, bandanas on children, moldy caulking, drafts, silence, Jeff Besos, stress fractures, anything deboned, cellulite, trademark infringements, the number 13.
With the amount of unhappiness that exists in this world, we get it. The sudden urge to complain about stuff can unexpectedly pop up at any moment, and it can be uncontrollable. Here is a list of stuff you really SHOULDN'T complain about (along with our standard replies):
"I'm cold."
Dress warmer.
"But if I dress warmer, I won't look as cute in this new outfit I got at Abercrombie."
Complain to Abercrombie then.
"I wish it was warmer outside."
Unfortunately, the business model does not support only opening when the temp is comfortable for you and your loved ones.
"OMG - the characters keep trying to converse with me...why won't they leave me alone?"
The harder you try to avoid having fun, and the more annoyed you look, the more the characters will engage with you. We love your annoyed looks and judgemental eye rolls. Might as well TRY to have a good time. Otherwise, consider wearing a paper bag over your head so neither one of us has to decide.
"Why is there a line?"
It's a popular holiday and a popular event. If you'd prefer an event that doesn't have long lines, attend a Holiday Flag Day Attraction.
"My gums hurt."
Call a periodontist.
"Why do I have to walk?"
The people mover section of our event is broken (like....permanently).